Editor’s note: This article synthesizes a career interview with Steph Ward Williams, founder of F*ck Being Humble and author of Career Come Down. Subscribe prompts, competition plugs, and show transitions are omitted for clarity.
Williams moved jobs six times in seven years in advertising—earning a promotion and pay raise each time—before building a community around backing yourself. Her message: ambition and self-promotion are not vanity; neither is leaving a job that undervalues you. But confidence is not endless repetition—it is what your nervous system can hold in a given season.
Why F*ck Being Humble Exists
After seven years in advertising, Williams loved the work but craved community and creative autonomy beyond client budgets and timelines. She was already the “career agony aunt” in her friend group—updating CVs, portfolios, and interview pitches constantly.
Networking events felt stuffy and unrepresentative—“name badge,” dry small talk, panels that were “male, pale, and stale.” After moving from the north of England to London, she wanted to see peers her age with side hustles—not only founders 50+ with very different backgrounds.
Her insight: great people were doing great things but not pitching themselves, while organizers were not spotlighting emerging talent. F*ck Being Humble bridged that gap—and aimed to disrupt generic, boring careers messaging.
Six Jobs in Seven Years: “It’s Not That Deep”
Williams’s advice for women afraid to hand in notice:
- Companies will try not to pay you—and will drop you when it suits them, regardless of late nights
- Fear of being disliked, losing a “work family,” or awkward conversations often blocks moves that serve you
- After a four-week notice, you may never see those colleagues again—or they may envy your courage
- Forbes and other coverage link regular job moves to higher year-on-year earnings; staying can erode leverage
Research the progression plan at your employer: how long to the next level? What’s staff turnover? A new company may slot you in as a manager while your current firm demands five years in the same chair.
Her toxic first job—crying weekly, screaming in her face, five colleagues leaving in 11 months—taught her that “stick it out 12 months to be taken seriously” is bad advice. She had three offers when she left; staying would have cost the confidence she has now.
Reframe careers as business exchanges: you do a job; you get paid. No deeper obligation. Friends who never moved often regret settling; job-hopping is not mandatory—but it served her progression.
Control, Stress, and Building Confidence
Research on stress suggests a key factor is not only what you do but your perception of control. Feeling stuck is powerlessness—and exhausting.
Each move showed Williams she was in demand and did not have to tolerate disrespect. Confidence grew from risk and adaptation, not comfort alone. You can also stretch yourself inside a role—but name where you do have control.
Confidence Is Capacity—Not Just Repetition
Williams is not “always confident.” A toxic first job eroded her spark. More recently, a “lifequake”—significant trauma—triggered PTSD, depression, and her lowest period (December–April).
She could still deliver talks on autopilot—but capacity was gone: couldn’t pick an outfit, couldn’t create, nervous system rattled by one aggressive complaint after seven years without one.
Her therapist’s line: “This isn’t your season for creating.” Permission to heal—not produce—was pivotal. Recovery came in small sparks: a trip to Croatia, daily gym (uncharacteristic for her), Paris with her partner, saying no, boundaries—not work validation.
Lesson: women often show patience to employers (staying 12 months in misery) but not self-compassion. Phrases like “fallen off the wagon” punish; “you’ll go when you’re ready” lightens the load.
Ambition Without Burning Out
Most careers span 30–40 more years—things can wait. Williams shifted from hyper-productivity to sustainability after learning health is non-negotiable.
Ambition rooted in proving self-worth differs from healthy drive. There is no medal for arriving fastest—only sustaining longer. Career Come Down warns against racing up the ladder only to ask “Is this it?” without enjoying the climb.
Career Come Down: Stick, Twist, or Tap Out
After friends hit promotions and pay rises yet felt empty—“Is this it?”—Williams named career come down: investing years in a path that no longer fits ambitions, lifestyle, or goals.
Hundreds of Instagram responses led to her second book. She interviewed commenters, then built a methodology:
| Route | What it means |
|---|---|
| Stick | Reignite the spark in your current career—maybe you’ve lost your way, not your field |
| Twist | Pivot, reinvent, change careers—hard but rewarding; not a sunset fantasy |
| Tap out | Stop making work your entire identity; exit the rat-race of proving worth through career |
All three are valid depending on market conditions and life stage. The book ends with 30-, 60-, and 365-day action plans for each path—answering “now what?” after reading.
Buy or Bye-Bye: Quick Takes
- Imposter syndrome — “buy”: Reframe it as growth fuel (Iceland presidential candidate example); character-testing, not shame
- Asking for a pay rise — “buy”: Tie contributions to business objectives, not “I worked hard”; document wins year-round; hard work does not speak for itself
- Networking — “buy”: ~80% of her brand work came from relationships; introverts may network better by asking questions and listening
- Personal brand — “buy” the concept: Build narrative and connections even if you hate the label—layoffs show why
- “Portfolio career” label — “bye-bye”: Embrace varied paths and gaps; focus on showing what you’ve done, not jargon
Networking icebreakers: “What do you do?”, “Did you come alone too?”, compliments, panel-specific questions—and research the room’s industry before you arrive.
In-Office vs. Remote: Two Things Can Be True
On viral clips arguing young workers need in-person hustle to advance, Williams offers nuance:
- Proximity bias is real—decision-makers favor who they see; remote workers must self-promote doubly hard
- Fighting for flexible work (especially for parents) matters; clips can feel dismissive of that struggle
- Your path depends on ambitions: “soft girl” stability vs. high visibility and income are both valid
- Front-load hustle early if you want later ease—or accept tradeoffs (e.g., living in Paris with fewer London opportunities)
- Remote workers can still DM, virtual coffee, and upskill online—in-person plus online beats either alone
What She Wishes Every Woman Knew by 25
Your self-worth is not derived from work—or men, or dating timelines, or keeping up with friends’ milestones.
Women often bond over self-doubt; Williams wants more bonding over self-love beyond job titles and aesthetics. Release rigid goals (by 30 this, by 35 that); life will change unpredictably. Happiness comes from moving through uncertainty with self-compassion—knowing you are worthy for existing, so choices flow from curiosity and joy—not ego and validation.
Bottom Line
Steph Ward Williams built a brand on loud self-belief—and learned quietly that confidence has limits. Move jobs when progression stalls; promote yourself in the language bosses care about; network by listening; name career come down when the ladder tops out empty. And when your capacity crashes, healing is not failure—it is the work that makes the next chapter possible.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Should you change jobs regularly to earn more?
A: Williams argues companies often underpay loyal staff and that moving strategically can accelerate promotions and pay—though stability may suit others. Research employer progression timelines before deciding.
Q: What is “career come down”?
A: Steph Ward Williams’s term for reaching career success—promotions, pay—yet feeling “Is this it?” when the path no longer fits. Her book offers three routes: stick (reignite), twist (pivot), or tap out (decenter work as identity).
Q: How should you ask for a pay rise?
A: Frame contributions as business impact—revenue, audience, reputation—not hours worked. Document wins year-round and self-promote before the conversation; decision-makers respond to outcomes, not effort alone.
